Feeing Guilty For Wanting Her To Pass

As I watch my Grandma day after day, with no hope of getting any better, just worse, I’ve been praying God would just go ahead and take her. She doesn’t deserve to live like this, and I know she wouldn’t want to. But the guilt of wishing she would die, kills me inside. How can I wish my Grandma would die?! But then I think of how she’s just laying there, in that hospital bed day after day, not having any quality of life, I know why I want her to go. She deserves to go. She’s done her part here on this earth, and it’s her time to be at peace and without suffering. Tonight when I went to feed her her ice cream, I told her once again that everything was going to be ok. I would make sure Poppy ( My Grandpa ) and my dad were taken care of. I sat and held her hand but I could tell something was wrong. She usually gobbles down her ice cream at night, but tonight she wasn’t interested in it at all. She would only open her mouth enough for me to get the tip of the spoon in her mouth. I’m hoping she gets peace soon and let’s go. That might sound harsh to some, but that’s where my mind is at now. 

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Author: Watching My Grandma Die Slowly

I'm a 27, almost 28 year old country girl who is helping take care of my Grandmother who was diagnosed with Alzheimer's Almost 12 Years Ago. This is my daily struggles and thoughts.

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